The Art of Eating Alone

HOW TO WALK IN HIGH HEELS: THE GIRL'S GUIDE TO EVERYTHING

Camilla Morton

Recently my mother bought a book by London writer Camilla Morton; How To Walk in High Heels.

In between the distractions of the construction noise from the contractors and doing my "mommy thang," I found a little corner this weekend to claim temporarily and took time to skim the pages of the book. Based on the pages I've read thus far, this has to be the ultimate coffee table book that EVERY woman should have. Though I have never read Kimora Lee's book Fabulocity, which is her own guide to living a fabulous life, I have a feeling Morton may have her beat with this book.

Yes the title may seem ultra fem or girlie girlish and so may some of the written words inside the cover. However, there is a lot of useful information that Morton packs into this book. She begins, of course, talking about stilettos, heels..shoes. I smiled as I skimmed through because I feel that I'm a PRO in this department. She graciously introduces her readers to Manolo Blahnik (for those who are totally clueless) by including a brief bio and history on his shoes. She talks about how to go about getting fitted for the right bra, investing in stocks, resigning from a job, firing folks from their job, etiquette and appropriate attire for weddings, funerals and such and how to entertain. She also as a section that briefly breaks down the process of buying a house; from picking a real estate agent, applying for a loan, seeking a lawyer (if you want to), picking a house and the mortagage and giving houshold tips afterwards - like "How To Lay Tile."

With all the useful tips I've read through, one chapter really caught my eye; "How To Dine Alone."  I'm no stranger to such a thing, because I've always felt confident enough to go out and have a "me day" or even (for lack of better words and not at the risk of sounding too Sex and the City cliche'-ish) "date my city." The first time I actually spent a night out alone I was set to have an evening with a girlfriend of mine. However, things fell through literally at the last minute where her babysitter backed out and she couldn't find anyone else. So I took myself dinner, had a drink or two at the bar and ended up watching Chicago in the movies.  The last time I've actually done such a thing is most likely a year ago when I was pregnant. During a weekend in February I decided to take myself to see the Vagina Monologues, but first stopping in Ben's Chili Bowl for a bite to eat and Starbuck's for a lil dessert.

What I found interesting in reading this chapter was Morton's tips on how to remain poise doing such a thing. She suggests that you ask to be seated away from the crowd stressing the ALONE factor that you are there to eat alone and not near any distractions. She also suggests that you bring some kind of reading matarial with you to keep you a lil occupied if need be and to distract anyone who may want to disturb your quietness. She stresses that you can make your cell phone visible but don't fiddle with it. Fiddling with a phone on your "lone date," may send a signal that you are desperately waiting for it to ring - perhaps from the imaginary person that fake stood you up.

Everytime that I've dined alone I always feel worlds away or mysterious. I have noticed that I do pull in some glances and maybe some stares, but I don't mind it. Some have been from women who may be admiring my shoes or my purse at the time. Later I would receive a compliment. A couple may be from men who are too shy or too arrogant to say anything. Normally I do have some kind a reading material with me; a magazine, a newsletter from some community event or a newspaper. Sometimes I would have a pen and small writing pad in tow, in case I do get the urge to write something.

One of my favorite places to dine alone has been The Art Gallery Grille in the heart of downtown DC. It's kinda retro, with art deco decore that looks as if it has been in place since the 80s. Yet, it was there at the diner counter or in a booth hidden in a corner that I would munch on an old time greasy but good cheap eat of cheese eggs, bacon, wheat toast and hashbrowns for breakfast or a good old club sandwhich for lunch while reading the day's Washington Post.  It was there I would go, straight from my visit with The Doc to reflect and internally cry what I hadn't cried out earlier. It was perfect. I was just another person added to the foot traffic along the K Street corridor. No one knew my name. Perfect! 

I have to admit I was taken aback a week or so ago as I was meeting up with Suga Mama. She was waiting for me to arrive at our destination and decided to go to the nearby Ruby Tuesday's. I was running late, but when I arrived I found her sitting at the bar finishing up whatever she had ordered. It was then she turned to me and said,

"This is the first time I've ever done this. I never ate out alone before."

That sent a slight shock to my system, because I think I just assumed that every woman, AT LEAST ONCE, has dined out alone. Silly me right? Honestly, I would recommend that EVERY woman take their courage by the bull horns and take themselves on a simple "dine out" date. While it is good to be surrounded by your closest friends with the round of drinks flowing and food all sticky and yummy, sometimes you do need that small space to pay attention to yourself. Dining out alone or simply dating yourself IS a treat to yourself. Don't deny yourself!

No you aren't a looser if you do so and yes it does take a lot of guts to go to a nice spot, especially if it is a popular hot spot, alone.

*side note: may want to avoid the popular spots if you are shy about this*

This is just another way to stay in tuned to yourself. Reflect.Breath.Enjoy. It's another way to build up and ooze with confidence. There's nothing sexier or more fabulous than a woman who is confident in every way.

In my "book," as well as in Morton's, every woman is entitled to enjoy herself in all she does.

As for me, I haven't done any real dining out alone since the Snickerdoodle has been on the scene. Naturally if we are out and we dine I do find a spot away from the crowd to not distract from our mother/daughter time. As I wait for my food I interact and feed her to keep her occupied. At this age, when she sees my food she aims for it and wants a taste. Fun times! (insert sarcastic laugh - no seriously it is fun!)

As to when I will officially date myself again, I'm not sure. All I can say is I have heels in line and ready to go.