Still Pushing!
I'm utterly speechless right now. I almost feel like crying. I feel like I'm experiencing another epiphany.
For the past couple of days, in light of my conversation I had with my aunt , I've been mulling over pushing myself (even harder) out of my comfort zone. As I scoped out a few more frelance gigs on journalism job boards, I almost felt intimidated. A lot of the freelance gigs that are up for grabs are based in New York. I thought back to one of my old writing & reporting professors and the journalism logic he shared; a journalist my have to be a nomad from time to time. So I'm not a full fledge journalist and most of the freelance projects I'm doing are more so on the creative side now. However, a lot of the "cool" projects I see are outside of DC. I STILL have this mindset that I can find a freelance gig or two in DC (or at least in the area) - one that I LIKE! It would accommodate my lifestyle and be convenient.
I often complained how creativity is often underground, hidden in the cracks of this city. It may not be as prevalent as in New York, maybe Philly and perhaps San Francisco or Chicago, because politics is the mother load here. So yes, I've been trying to carve out my own niche. However, today I took a look at what some of the projects from New York are looking for. Guidelines seems simple enough, but there goes that pain-in-the-ass self doubt. Am I really an expert on fashion? The woman who just put some pink and white poka dot sheets on her bed?
(don't ask)
I even considered posting a profile on another journalism site under their freelance section. That other pain in the ass set in, intimidation. I began to feel really small when browsing the other profiles and taking note of how many years they have been at this.
I started reading emails and clearing out my inbox. I came across one of those weekly gossip thingys that Ms. C always sends me. To be fair, the one she sends is really the most truthful. She actually sent it a week ago, so I'm a bit late on the latest. I skimmed through not caring much about Star Jones and Al Rynolds' divorce, Eddie Murphy wanting the engagement ring back from Tracey Emmonds or even Whitney Houston and Brandy's brother, Ray J, dating again (yuck!). My eyes locked on a small paragraph about Jill Scott.
Jill Scott, along with actresses Angie Harmon and Gabrielle Union, go nude for Allure Magazine's annual "nude" issue. I did a quick search on the net and there is was, a pre posting of what to expect in the May issue of Allure Magazine.
I got a chance to read the inset attached to her picture. Jill talks about how nervous she was. She couldn't sleep the night before. She didn't think she would feel comfortable in doing this. Her comfort zone of being her naked size 16 self is usually in her home, when she is alone. Yet, she did this to join up with Allure's cause - to celebrate EVERY woman no matter her size. Basically Jill pushed passed her comfort zone. The end result; a liberation she never felt before.
(see photo shoot in video below)
I
I feel inspired. Being naked in front of strangers, let alone to have your "beauty" posted for publication is not the easiest thing to do - unless you just that damn confident about yourself. My writing and my professional experiences, creative or journalistic, are me; EXPOSED.
My self doubt and intimidation are going to have to take a back seat. I'm on a mission as I seek my liberation.
