Confessions East of the River

I think I'm going to start a blog series in which I feel the urge to confess random shit.

Theotherday - By Natalie Dee

I Confess....

To crashing Papi's computer the other night by sending him a link via YouTube. His wussy system couldn't take the pressure.

Being a DJ groupie - not the low class radio DJs though. I mean hardcore, spinning underground tunes, rock star, international fame DJ.

Sticking popsicles in my glass of ginger ale. Try it!

Turns my Mazda into a BMW 745 while I drive - Who needs David Copperfield? 

I usually ignore speed limit signs - just ask the city, state of Oxford, NC. -THANK GOD I got all of that straight!

Playing Lynard Skynard's extended version of "Freebird" repetively for hours on end just to hear the guitar riffs.

Not getting along well with Black Men in power..,..being urked by their arrogance - the ones who are and suddenly disown the verb/adjective "humble". I love my fellow Black brothers in the lead, but seriously some of yall have serious power trip issues.

Owns countless Cubic Zarcon...yaks - Bling Bling.

Slowly becoming a feminist.

Curses like a sailor at the oddest times

Wishes I could fling my neighbor's "Taco Bell" dog into outter space or at least stick something up its butt to make it shut up!  For the record.. I'm a dog lover. I've owned two dogs in my lifetime (RIP Mickey and Max) and wish to have another. I just HATE my neighbor's dog which suffers from a Nepoleanic Complex.

Farted and blamed my daughter for it.

A bill collector called for me, I broke into a Spanish accent, posed as a relative and told the folks I had been deported back to the Dominican. Sad thing.. they believed me.

BertAndErnieHeads

Really thinks my mayor (Adrian Fenty) looks like Bert from Bert & Ernie on Sesame Street.

Slightly does have penis envy - fuck it. I'll just get a strap on.

Threw that last confession in to see who would take me seriously.

It was me who jacked up the spin cycle on the washing machine when I tried to wash a goose feather bed padding. I'm an educated Black woman that has Blonde moments.....after a couple of glasses of Spiked Kool-Aid akak Arbor Mist.

Hates the nightclub Dream.. or Love .. or whatever it wants to be called, with a passion but will roll up in there in a heartbeat to see New Edition in concert. Yeah i did it .. and will gladly do it again!

Became star struck when I ran into a local TV news Anchor back in June, but rolled my eyes today (err yesterday) when I ran into Tigger at my local grocery store and immediately thought about the rumor going around about him. *sigh* Say it so Tig. Actually... you did on Jamie Foxx's show on Syrius Radio back in Dec.

Knew about Shirley Bassey before Kayne sampled her song and got extremely pissed DJ played Bassey's orignal Diamonds are Forever as if it were brand new.

Tired, but thinking of more things to fess up to.